The Epic Tale of Storydom
by alyssialui
Summary: A hodge-podge crack story from a one-sentence game on the AtLAFC. Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: A hodge-podge story from a one-sentence game on the AtLAFC. Don't take anything you read here too seriously. It was made by a bunch of people with a lot of time on their hands. We also had a bit of a problem with the fanfic "My Immortal", so there will be a lot of references to that in here._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **skyoria, Albedineity, Ciloron, siempie78, Lumosify, Snugglesthefluffykitten, Mortem Sanctus**_

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><p>Aang tossed and turned as he slept, nightmares playing out behind his closed eyes. This time, there wasn't Math test or missing pants, there was only her. The mighty Queen of Platypus-Bears. They were other platypus bears dancing in circles around their queen. She caressed her turtleduck pets with her monstrous, yet soft hands.<p>

Above her, two dragons soared in circles, staring at the turtleducks. They were hungry but the platypus bear queen knew they would not harm her turtleducks. After the night of 3 AG, no one did - besides, it would be highly unprofessional of her bodyguards to eat her source of amusement. They were getting hungry, however, and it had been a long time since her dragons had eaten any dissenters to her reign. She looked about the room at her dancers, wondering what she could feed the dragons. The dancers, those frivolous signs of decadence?

Suddenly, she heard a voice saying "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!", and the source of the voice was (dot,dot,dot) DUMBLEDORE!

Aang woke up as soon as the dream got too horrible. An old man in long purple robes and a white beard?

Aang thought about the rude old man the whole day, not noticing anyone's concern about his new obsession with old men. Katara was saddened, grieving over Aang's state of mind. He was talking of magic and Serious and Lucian and masticating. Masticating old men.

She told Aang to consult Kyoshi on his problem, since Roku was an old man and thus part of the problem. However, Kyoshi admitted to having a similar... problem, which started when she met someone called "Tara Gilesby".

So Aang talked to Avatar Yangchen, but she told him that "Tara Gilesby" had visited the Spirit World and forced everyone to read a story she wrote, called 'My Immortal', and that now the Spirit World was at war.

Aang asked why the Spirit World was at war.

Yangchen told him that the story had driven every spirit insane, even the already insane ones. As the Avatar, it would be his job to bring balance to the world and take that horrible excuse for a story out of existence.

So he hopped on his trusty poodle-tortoise, and made his slow progress toward the spirit portal. His mind throbbed with horrible thoughts. Dreams undreamt were dreamt anew. He ran out of food because Toph is a terrible packer. She put the Fire Flakes in the waterskin! Maybe it had been a bad joke from her part. There was only one way to find out if it was... Confronting her with the deed, but that would take too long. So he instead fell asleep, again - he felt as if his next dream would be prophetic.

A goth stood in front of him, blaring confusing words into his ear: "VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERF*KER!" Now he had to battle vampires?

Twelve minutes later, with the last swirl of wind, all vampires fell down - apart from one, with a solemn expression on her face. It was Toph!

She dramatically gazed into the distance, with her hair floating around her head, and whispered, "U WOT M8"

Aang, however, was quite unfazed and shouted: "Are you a vampire?!"

Toph only wiggled her eyebrows until they fell off and disappeared with a puff. Then she melted into a puddle. Was it really all just a nightmare? Or was it reality?

But then he realized he really was standing in a puddle. Then came the realization of not dreaming anymore. Redness rose to his cheeks as he felt the warm wetness of his pants...

"Why are you throwing mud at my pants Top- WAIT, TOPH?"

Toph stopped and shrugged, "Did you actually think I would die? I'm needed to develop the plot further."

Aang screamed, "You can't break the fourth wall!"

"Well tough, Twinkletoes; I do what I want!" Then, she proceeded to break the fifth wall, taking along Tara Gilesbie with it.

"But...I thought the Fifth Wall was just a legend..." Aang then proceeded to faint, even though he wasn't sure he could faint in a dream.

Iroh appeared out of nowhere and said, "The fifth wall is very rare, but no legend. Now if you were to run into the S-I-X-T-H wall, things would be very bad. Even speaking its name is said to bring terrible misfortune.

As soon as Iroh started spelling words out, Aang stopped listening to piece the word together. "So...a Sixth Wall? THERE'S A SIXTH WALL?!"

Everyone fell silent (Toph, Aang, and Katara who was on a tree the whole time), so Iroh offered them jasmine tea - he always had some spare tea, no matter when or where.

"No, child!" Iroh hollered. "You have doomed us all to a terrible fate at the hands of..." His sentence was interrupted by the curse- A squad of six ninja cyborg baboons with laser eyes.

"Not again," Iroh groaned, and ripped of his shirt. Everyone started drooling, and then they slapped themselves for each other, not knowing if this sentence made sense.

"Why are we drooling?" Aang asked, "We need to be fighting the monsters created by the sixth- oh no!" In response to the cursed word, another monster appeared- a four headed Minotaur with a dragon body that barfed toxic rainbows.

"NOT THE RAINBOWS!" Toph screeched, while everyone stared at her because they thought she was blind.

"What?" Toph said. "Why are you staring at me?"

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><p><em>AN: Can Toph see? What about the rainbows? Who's looking after the children?! Stay tuned for more craziness._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: We've gotten through another chapter of crazy antics featuring our favourite characters._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **Snugglesthefluffykitten, Lumosify, Albedineity, siempie78, Ciloron, skyoria, zotrills**_

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><p>Toph invited everyone over to her home for drinks.<p>

"How are we getting to your house?" Aang asked. 'We're not exactly welcomed there."

"We're gonna be disguised, of course," Sokka butted in, "As Zuko's distant relatives. Right Toph?"

"Whatever floats your boat." Toph said, waving her hand to shoo him off.

"Speaking of boats," Katara said. "Why is there one up in the sky?"

"There's a boat over my house?" Toph asked in surprise.

"Yeah, and I think it's...Fire Nation?" Aang squinted at the boat. "Is that...Zuko?"

Zuko grappled down from the airship with a large bag in his hands, "I brought Fire Flakes."

Toph grunted, "I hate Fire Flakes."

"Well, tough," Zuko frowned at her, "That's all the food we have for the next few days, as your parents hired me as their new cook."

"Why would they want to hire YOU?" Toph went on.

"Besides playing a mean tsungi horn, I know my way around a kitchen," Zuko said defensively.

"You can play the Tsungi horn?" Aang asks in awe.

"You haven't heard my latest album, 'Tsungi Horn before Honour'?" Zuko asked in disbelief.

"What's an album?" The entire Gaang asks in sync.

Katara chipped in eagerly, "I got the signed copy!"

Zuko shot Katara wink and said, "You don't know what you're missing out on."

Aang asked, "Do you guys want to hear me play the Tsungi horn?"

After Katara stomped on Zuko's foot, she turned to Aang. "I'm sure we'd love to, sweetie, but we have to go and see Toph's parents." Zuko didn't mind, he'd never really been one for music anyways, usually doing it to keep his head of his banishment.

Meanwhile, in the Jasmine Dragon, Iroh drank some tea while playing on an accordion. He then said, "I like trains."

Just then, a mine turtle appeared, so Iroh threw it at the Dai Li waiting outside the Jasmine Dragon. But the Dai Li was just a poor soul who had wanted a cup of tea! Iroh gave him a balloon for compensation.

The Dai Li, kind soul that he was, smiled and said: "I thank you, oh Iroh, but your friends are in grave danger at the Beifong mansion!" The Dai Li continued in a conspirational tone, "It is said that they only have Fire Flakes to eat!"

"Oh, the humani-tea!" Iroh said with a gasp. The Dai Li agent facepalmed at Iroh's pun.

Suddenly, cute turtle ducks and platypus bears fell out of the sky. He used his other hand to pet the turtleduck, but instead it teleported him to where the Gaang was.

"Uncle, what are you going here?" Zuko asked upon seeing the large man before him barely covered in a sleeping robe.

"I have no idea how I got here!" Iroh says, quickly trying to cover himself.

Sokka didn't really care, so he chewed on a fire flake as he waited for something to happen.

Suddenly, a giant pineapple-shaped like a brick fell from the sky and hit Sokka in the head.

"It is a message from the spirits!" Guru Pathik yelled, running around like a madman.

Zuko shouted to the sky, "I ordered a star-shaped pineapple, not a brick-shaped pineapple"

Zuko was struck with a headache, to which Pathik said: "Karma can be nasty at times..."

When Zuko held his head in pain, Katara ran straight over to tend to him, leaving an unconscious Sokka behind. While Katara helped Zuko, Iroh and Guru Pathik sat down to drink Onion and Banana tea.

The Dai-Li -who is called Kevin- decided that an unconscious Sokka was not something to be squandered. Kevin pulled out his trusty Sharpie. He wrote "ur mom LOLOLL XDDDDDDD" on Sokka's left eyebrow, because Kevin was actually 9 years old.

Iroh chuckled at the young boy's antics, "Such a prodigy at nine years old to be in the Dai Li."

Katara slapped Zuko to wake him up, healed his wound, and then angrily muttered about "being the only healer in this bloody place".

Suddenly, another thing fell from the sky-It was a box that had a note stating, 'Never fear, your Krusty Krab pizza is here!'

Everyone - minus Sokka who was still knocked out - gathered around the strange object that had just fell from the sky. Suddenly, a ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) appeared on its surface. Katara slapped it because she had STS - Slap Things Syndrome.

"Guys, there's a heartbeat in that box!" Toph exclaimed.

"That was Katara's hand." Zuko deadpanned.

"No, it's still there. I think it's the... weird face thingy..." Toph frowned and everyoe stared at her, because she once again knew something she shouldn't - she was blind after all. "I think I know a separate heartbeat when I feel one Senor Hotman!"

"What is Senor?" everyone chorused, except for Iroh. Instead, he simply said, "You forgot the accent."

Suddenly, Aang spoke up, "weren't we supposed to go to Toph's house?"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Aang wakes up to a night of crying and slaps. Here's another chapter to epic adventures :D_

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **skyoria, Lumosify, Snugglesthefluffykitten, Albedineity, zotrills, Ciloron**_

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><p>Aang woke with a groan as he heard the crying coming from the crib down the hall. He never should've agreed to babysit. Who knew Sokka and Suki's child was such a menace?<p>

He WAS babysitting, right? It wasn't his kid?

_Kids_, Aang corrected himself. He was also entrusted with taking care of the toddler Hope, whose family had somehow tracked him down. She kept disappearing every five minutes.

Suddenly, a phone rang to Aang's surprise - phones weren't invented until about 50 years forwards. Of course, a future Avatar had told him this in a dream. Aang wasn't completely sure how, but it happened.

How did the old Avatar know about the future and how in the monkeyfeathers did a phone get here? Ok, maybe Korra wasn't THAT old, but why did she feel the need to tell him? She felt the need to tell him everything, actually, because apparently his older self's spirit was destroyed or something. Aang didn't really understand the finer details.

After few minutes of contemplating, Aang decided to pick up the phone, which stopped ringing a few seconds ago. "Hello?" No one answered. "HELLO?" Nothing happened, so Aang threw the phone out the window.

Aang heard the Wilhelm Scream, but didn't know what it was. Then he realised it was coming from the babies.

When Aang turned away from the window, the phone was back in it's place. Spirit phones, Aang thought as he rubbed his temples.

Meanwhile, the babies kept screaming. Aang heard a choking noise. He freaked out.

It turned out to be the fishes who were disturbed by the screaming babies. Were the fish choking on the babies and that's why they're screaming? Oh no, the poor fish would die choking on babies!

Aang rushed outside only to find that the _babies_ were eating the fish. He screamed and fainted.

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><p>"Sweetie," Aang heard softly in his ear, before he felt a hard slap across his face.<p>

"Katara, you really need to get that checked," Aang groaned, sitting up.

"Where's **our** baby?" Katara asked.

"We had sex?" Aang asked in shock.

"I think you have amnesia," Katara frowned at him. "Maybe a good slap will cure that." She slapped him again.

The crying started again but this time, it sounded deeper than a child's voice. It was Ozai, who had been hiding in the closet.

Suddenly, Azula jumped down from the ceiling where she's been hiding, and stomped her way to Ozai. "I've been searching for you everywhere! You were supposed to escort me to the Fire Nation father-daughter ball tonight," she said as she dragged him out of the closet.

Ozai sobbed even harder, "I had to run away!"

"But why would you run from a party?!" Azula asked.

"There were too many hippo cows!" he cried. Ozai suddenly turned to look at Aang, "Avatar, I order you to keep the hippo-cows away from me!"

Aang just smiled and nodded at the ex Fire Lord, not sure what he meant.

"But what about the Fire Nation Father-Daughter Ball?" Azula asked while stomping her foot like a child.

"I...uh...they cancelled it," Ozai hastily blurted. "The boys of the Fire Nation started a riot because father-son relationships are never promoted...we had to go take care of that, it was crucial for upholding our country..."

Azula narrowed her eyes, "_Are you saying that you are taking Zuko to a ball instead of me?!"_

"YOU BETTER BE!" Zuko jumped out of a kitchen cabinet. He was followed by a large mob of Fire Nation boys. "FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE BUILT, INSTEAD OF FATHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS! I MEAN, LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TWO BECAUSE OF THAT!"

Meanwhile, Aang and Katara were edging to the to the window, hoping to escape unnoticed.

"AANG! KATARA!" Zuko bellowed. "DON'T YOU THINK FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE BUILT IN THE FIRE NATION?" He was trying his best to get laryngitis. He had to play the Tsungi horn at the dance and wanted anything but to be there watching all the smiling father-daughter couples, something he never had. Azula always rubbed the dance in his face. Not to mention the follow-up Father-Daughter Party she would host, barely a week after the actual dance. Just to rub it in a little more.

Aang started coughing to hide his nervousness, "Uh- Well, Zuko, I don't know how to break this to you, but..." Aang glanced at the fuming Azula.

"I'm going to be at that dance with my own daughter," Aang confessed.

"You _do_ remember!" Katara exclaimed, slapping him in delight.

"What's with all the slaps?" Aang said as he pushed Katara away from him.

Zuko stopped yelling at everyone and looked at Aang in confusion, "I thought she was just a newborn?"

"Is she still not my daughter?" Aang asked looking back at Zuko just the same.

"No, but does she know how to dance?" Zuko elaborated. He was genuinely confused. "Besides, I know that you are roughly the same height as her, but aren't you going to have _some_ difficulties?"

"Burn!" Sokka shouted!

"Our daughter knows how to dance," Katara said, affronted. "I taught her to dance. She's a natural. So is our son."

"Wait, we have a son too?" Aang asked. Now it was his turn to be genuinely confused.

Katara groaned, because her hand hurt too much to slap anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: What has Sokka gotten himself into? Another story from our twisted minds. This one is kinda short._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between:__**Albedineity, Lumosify, skyoria, zotrills, Ciloron, Snugglesthefluffykitten**_

_Disclaimer: We do not own AtLA._

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><p>'Why did I go into that hogmonkey pen?' Sokka thought as he ran for his threw a boomerang at them by accident, and now they were bleeding, fast and furious.<p>

Speaking of 'fast and furious', Aang had forced him to watch something called a 'moovy' that was named Fast and Furious. He said Korra made him, whoever that was.

The name Korra sounded suspiciously familiar to the now 70-year old Sokka - didn't a village just have a baby named Korra born...?

'Wait,' Sokka thought,' Didn't Aang die?

_He was going to in a few days._

Wait, that didn't make any sense. How did he even know this stuff? Perhaps it was the grass spirits, they told him everything.

Sokka then realised that he was still being chased by the hogmonkeys.

Sokka was surprised. Usually it took all his concentration to put one foot in front of the other, much less run without his entire focus on the process. He was excited at this new found ability and started to make faces at the angry hogmonkies behind him.

A man his age really should have stayed home and watched the grandchildren, even though his grandchildren would punch and kick him. There were horrible little monsters actually who took after their grandmother. The oldest kid actually taught herself how to fight like a Kyoshi Warrior, and then proceeded to bully her poor, poor father around with her new-found skills. He thought about it for a moment and finally decided that he liked the hogmonkies a lot better.

Maybe he could befriend them! Sokka skidded to a stop, turning around and holding his arms out wide for his patented Hogmonkey Hug.

The hog monkeys started jumping up and down and made sounds like the Tusken Raiders.

Sokka recognized the signs. They wanted food! Meat, to be precise. Sokka started making hog monkey noises, asking what they wanted to eat.

"The Avatar!" the leader hogmonkey screamed.

Sokka shrugged, "Well, he _is_ going to die in a few da-" he was cut off by screaming Aang who teleported on his head. Sokka shoved Aang towards the hogmonkeys. "There, your meal delivered right on time!"

The hog monkeys frown and make more noises, translating to "No! There's a special brand of _meat_call The Avatar! We could never eat the person!"

Aang, agile for his age, kept screaming and writhing, for he was an extreme vegan and wouldn't allow any meat to be eaten. "I - uh - " Sokka struggled to hold Aang down. "WHERE CAN I GET THIS 'AVATAR' BRAND?!"

"MY BRAND!" the hogmonkeys shouted, while holding out a box towards Sokka.

Sokka picks up the box and says, "This is a box of Corn Flakes."

"SHADDAHP!" All of the hogmonkeys chorused, except for one that leaned forward and whispered loudly, "They're in denial."

"Wait, this isn't Corn Flakes, " Sokka realizes. "It's Coco Pebbles! "

"That would explain why they look like moose-lion pellets..." the leader hogmonkey mused.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: More craziness ensues. Not even I truly know what was happening in this chapter. Remember, take nothing in this too seriously. It's pure crack._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **Lumosify, Snugglesthefluffykitten, albedineity, siempie78, skyoria **  
><em>

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><p>Toph cleaned her toes. It was a sacred practice, and she had to give it the full devotion it deserved. Toph loved her practice, and could never understand why people chose to pick their nose instead- that's plain nasty!<p>

Suddenly, a platypus bear ran in and started making "xaxaxaxa" sounds.

Toph jumped to her feet an said, "PERRY THE PLATYPUS BEAR?"

"No! Me pap be Perry," the platypus bear explained. "Me mam be Hogmonkey Queen."

"So, you're The Prince of platypuses and hogmonkeys? Or are you the princess?"

"Secretly prince of platypus. Public prince of hogmonkey." the platypus bear answered. No one was completely sure how they could talk, but no one cared enough to ask.

The Platypus Bear started to speak in a Russian accent "XAXAXA I VONT TELL YUO ANYVAY! XAXAXA!"

"Well, I don't care much for whatever language you're speaking." Toph started derping. She was tired of working.

Toph asked the weird Platypus Bear if he had ever seen a 'Bigfoot'.

The platypus bear conjured a weird red banner with a yellow sign on it, "ALL HAIL COMMUNISM," to everyone's confusion.

Iroh leaped out of nowhere and bowed down to the flag. "All hail Vladimir Lenin the Platypus Bear!"

Toph stared at the flag too, hypnotised, "Mother... Russia... good..." She almost bowed down, when she realized her toes still needed to be picked! They must be attended to at once!

"Communists! Communists! Everybody likes communists!" Guru Pathik soared through the air on his cloud. He had six arms, and was holding a lotus flower and a sitar among other things.

Toph stomped her foot into the ground, sending a boulder in his face, "I don't."

"Neither do I!" Sokka said. "I just love meat!"

"Do you ever wonder why we exist?" Aang asked thoughtfully. He had been sitting in a nearby tree with Katara all of this time.

The platypus bear shook his head in disapproval, "Mother Russia does not approve."

"Hopefully not to be communists." Katara replied.

"YOU EXIST TO SERVE COMMUNISTS AVATAR!" shouted a Dai Li agent. He wasn't very smart.

But he was 9-years old and named Kevin. Kevin was a 9-year-old prodigy. In fact, he was such a prodigy that he had become a Dai Li agent. Once, he even got to draw on sleeping Sokka's face, for which he was never forgiven. One day, he visited the Jasmine Dragon and was hit by a mine turtle Iroh threw out. But now he had a new mission: to stop the evil commies. He had to go undercover. So, he disguised himself in red and hoped no one thought he was Fire Nation. But the commie platypus bear ate him anyway. He kicked and screamed in the commie platypus bear's stomach, but no one heard him.

The platypus bear called his commie friend, Pooh Bear - he wore red shirts everyday with pride - using his extremely loud voice. Pooh Bear was not happy he had to stop eating his honey.

So in an act of vengeance, Pooh Bear extracted Kevin from commie platypus bear's stomach.

Then, Toph conjured a boulder and crushed the platypus bear. Why was Toph in the Fire Nation? Oh, that's right, she was here to send her metalbending recruits on an unsupervised, dangerous quest. As if on cue, Toph's students appeared behind her.

But the bear was actually Viggo Mortensen. Who, as it turns out, is Kevin's Arch-Nemesis; ever since Viggo became a shapeshifter.

Kevin gasped and attacked him, forgetting that Viggo was still in bear form. Not to mention that Kevin was nine and Viggo the bear had been smashed underneath a boulder.

"Take that, Viggo!" Kevin said, blowing a raspberry. Finally, his life long quest for vengeance was over...

Everyone else was confused. Kevin was a prodigy, but...why was this so easy for him? There was no plot in this story! But was there ever really a plot, if you thought about it?

Everyone decided to stop thinking, because not thinking is good for the soul. And, Teen Girl magazine told them to.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I should probably watch these things more closely since this one got pretty long before I ended it. It is pure madness with different arcs thrown in a visits to past chapters and past events within the chapter (it's complete chaos really). Oh well._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: _**_Snugglesthefluffykitten, FanFictionKatie, Albedineity, Lumosify_**

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><p>Zuko used to be the Fire Lord, then he took an arrow in the knee from his insane aunt, Katara. She said that a platypus bear told her to do it but we all know that one 9-year old named Kevin made all the platypus bears go extinct, apart from one platypus bear who bore the name "Россия Матушка".<p>

The last Platypus Bear's last words were "xaxaxa" Katara took it upon her self to find the last platypus bear, and make sure it was DEAD. She brought just her bare hands.

Meanwhile, Zuko lay, blood pouring out of his knee, his face white, the guards just _laughing. _Oh the mighty Fire Lord dying was hilarious to some.

Suddenly, Zuko started hallucinating from malnourishment about a potato, but there was no potato. He hallucinated that a potato was shot in his knee, but he realized it was another arrow. He realized soon that Katara was standing over him, thinking he was the last platypus bear, shooting arrows at the same spot on his knee. Over. And over. And over.

As he stained the marble floors crimson, Zuko started reminiscing his good times (which were very rare). Like the time he went skinny-dipping with some turtleducks when he was twelve. Unfortunately, Azula mistook him for a turtleduck and threw a boulder at him - he still didn't know how she did it.

"Mechasuits from the future!" she cried before she threw another one.

A bizarre woman nodded in satisfaction in the background. She had thick eyebrows. She was muttering something about concentration re-education camps. She learned the ways of the Dai Li secretly as a child, learning of their 're-education system'. Fascinated, she went deeper into their teachings, until she found out how to levitate boulders without bending.

She was the youngest prodigy the Dai Li had ever seen-even younger than Kevin. She realized that she could eat the world in a sandwich if she wanted to.

As Zuko pondered about the odd woman, he realised that he only had 1 minute before completely bleeding out. Katara, (a healer) could have helped him. But what's the point? This kid is just another mouth to feed, and a pretty annoying one at that.

And so, a lament on his lips, Zuko took his last breath.

Just then, Azula walked in. Shocked at what she saw, her jaw dropped.

"Auntie! You're the best! This is all I've ever wanted!" they hugged, then proceeded to have an Agni Kai.

Because they were equal in abilities, they became the new Fire Lord and Fire lady, because screw Ozai.

Suddenly, everyone paused. If Katara was also Azula's aunt, and Iroh is Ozai's only brother, then Katara was...Katara was...

But then they continued about their daily work. Their family is screwed up as it is, no one even cares anymore.

And then Azutara became canon, because incest is the way to go.

No one seemed to notice the time turner Katara hung around her neck all the time. Actually, it just looked like an hourglass to them.

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><p>The whole screwed up family was in the same room that day. Who would miss the show of Zuko dying? It was a relief for everyone. But then they heard a knock on the door. They opened it, and there was a large ship, labeled "Zutara". Teenagers in hoodies stood beside it, guns in hand.<p>

Suddenly, Aang appeared, looking angry at the ship. He went into avatar state, and all the teenagers took out their cellphone cameras. The phones were cut out from cardboard, as the avatar universe doesn't contain that technology yet.

They weren't exactly sure how they'd gotten into that universe, and some were staring at bottle of water, trying to bend something. It was clearer how when they discovered that the water was actually vodka.

"ZUTARA!" One of the teenagers yelled, and the rest of the teenagers raised their pitchforks and torches.

Azula stepped in and turned everyone to ash.

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><p>The kids wake up, with a pounding headache, and they instantly reach for more of that beautiful hallucination. They hallucinated about the lack of potato too. The kids stare at the writer suspiciously, wondering if they're dead or hungover. They were both.<p>

The potato ate one of the teenagers' head off. The now headless teenager groped around, smashed that potato, then proceeded to bleed to death. But then the potato disappeared; poof, gone.

Other teenagers (that hadn't bled to death) ran for their lives, not knowing they were already dead.

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><p>Azula, bored, slammed the doors and left them all to perish while she came back to her throne.<p>

"Daddy, when is the next Father-Daughter Convention?! It's been two days!" Azula demanded.

"Shut up, my sweet daughter" Ozai said dismissively.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS DISRESPECT!" Azula boomed like a good little Fire Lord.

The replacement Zuko walks by, munching on fire flakes, not surprised by all the noise.

"You, boy!" Ozai barked. "Give my daughter those fire flakes or I'll behead you!"

"What?" Zuko asked. They taste like potatoes. "Shadaaap" he said, putting on headphones that hadn't been invented yet. The headphones were made of cardboard, just like his cellphone. Everything remotely like future technology was made of cardboard.

Replacement Zuko was an automaton (a.k.a. mechatank), which happens to be future technology. Unfortunately, since he is existing, and he's modern, the whole dimension becomes modern, and turns into cardboard.

The xaxaxa wizards decided everything made of cardboard would now be pineapples, so the whole world is a giant pineapple. Reality ate that giant pineapple. Logic joined him and she invited him to a match of Pai Sho.

They played for awhile, but Logic said,

"This is not reality. This is from a TV show."

"Screw reality, and screw Logic! We want Avatar!" shouted fangirls.

The fangirls grabbed their pitchforks and torches and went in search of Katara, the Avatar's girlfriend. They would burn her to ashes.

But they didn't know that Azula and Katara got married - they became the ultimate power and destroyed the fangirls.

"Yes! " Azula exclaimed. "We have defeated the shippers for all time! They will never rise from the ashes of their shame and humiliation!"

Katara looked over at Azula and said, "I'm only in this for the pizza... You said I'd get pizza."

Then she danced on Zuko's corpse which was still lying on the floors, because nobody cared enough about him. Azula sprinkled cheese on the corpse and said that was pizza. Then it was her turn to dance on Zuko's corpse.

After the dance, they grabbed forks, and started eating Zuko. Katara said it was just cheese, because Zuko is nothing; so Katara dumped Azula and ran away to find Kevin, an esteemed member of the Dai Li.

The side dishes were turtleducks, but they went uneaten in the hurry for finding Kevin. But they realized he was made of cardboard.

Reality and Logic teamed up, then broke into this nonsense, and everything excluding them turned into cardboard. They even turned each other into cardboard. Cardboard Kevin was painted in red with a yellow sign painted on him: a sickle and a hammer

Then Alice, Kevin's biggest rival (also nine) in the Dai Li painted a symbol for Palpatine's Galactic Empire. However, the paint was from cardboard too, so it didn't work out too well.

* * *

><p>Kevin screamed and woke up to platypus-bears dancing on his head.<p>

"All hail Alice!" They chanted.

He realised it was the queen of platypus. "NOT AGAIN," screamed Aang in the distance.

"KORRA, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

Korra shrugged and continued making out with Asami.

"All hail Korrasami!" The bears chanted.

Kevin whispered, "nice" and started chanting too.

Alice pushed Korra aside and started making out with Asami. Korra then suggested a threesome and they all agreed.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: A few recurring characters come back for cameos and two-bit parts in this mad tale of Aang's adoption of the little girl, Alice. Also, it got titled "The Rise and Fall of the Air Nomads"

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **Snugglesthefluffykitten, Albedineity, Lumosify, skyoria, FanFictionKatie, avatarspiriaangkorra, ****Shutterfly Simmons**_

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><p>Aang burst through the doors of the Air Temple and called out, "Everyone, I have an announcement! I'm adopting this nine year old girl named Alice."<p>

"...What kind of a name is 'Alice'?"

"Well, what kind of name is Kevin?"

"Why are the chairs talking to themselves?"

Everybody shrugged, then did the flop. "EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!" Guru Pathik shrieked.

In the ruckus caused by The Flop, the vase whispered to the chairs, "I like the name Kevin..." Promptly, it shattered. Speaking often destroyed inanimate objects, being a very energy-draining practice.

Reality and Logic walked in to get rid of this insanity, but were turned into cardboard because they were too modern. Reality and Logic were so annoying that they ceased to exist. All the cardboard turned back into humans, (even the stuff that wasn't human previously) and cheered at not seeing reality or logic. From here on, they would never be spoken of again. Ever. But thought of? Always. At least, until the prophecy of Arcadia was fulfilled...

At that moment, Aang fell asleep on his history book. Every time a massacre happened in the book, Aang yawned. When a leader was killed, he fell asleep.

His irregular sleep pattern soon started to cause him problems. Like dreaming of Platypus Bears that wield red sickles and hammers. He also began seeing disturbing shadows whenever he went - he couldn't explain them.

It was Mitch- but some people call him "Big Mitch". For unknown reasons, he changed his gender from female to male when he was called "Big Mitch", but no one minded. Big Mitch had one purpose in life- to hunt Platypus Bears wielding red sickles and hammers. He left the ones with golden sickles and hammers, for they were The Bears.

Aang wondered who this "Big Mitch" was, and why he could only make gibberish sounds. But Big Mitch had served his purpose, and it was time he left, so he dissolved into a puddle and evaporated into the cosmos.

* * *

><p>Aang woke up from his dream about Big Mitch and everyone stared at him. They all had shock-and quite a few tears-in their eyes. Aang looked around, bewildered for a few moments until he realized he had fallen asleep.<p>

Aang decided to drink energy increasing chi tea (or whatever it was called) after each meal, in order to stay awake. Each night Katara had to chain him up to keep him still enough to sleep at all. She was concerned for him, he kept going on about Platypus Bears with red and yellow sickles and hammers, and ranted about an alien creature Called "Mitch", but some people call him "Big Mitch". The masticating old men were brought up frequently.

They had something to do with some ancient prophecy, but no one knew what it stated. All they knew was that a person named Tara Gilesbie, a supposed Seer, had spoken the prophecy. It was said that when the prophecy is fulfilled, eternal darkness would fall over the world, never to return to normal again. Unless...unless someone found the Queen of the Platypus-Bears in time to save everyone. But those were only rumours, and Aang still had Alice to look after, so he couldn't focus on other matters - matters such as his history book.

Luckily Alice loved history, so while Aang was dealing with his Korra-induced migraines, Alice went to the library and started reading up on Air Nomad history. Alice was approached by a very tall creature wearing a name tag that says "Big Mitch". It was the sister of the Queen of Platypus-Bears in disguise.

"Big Mitch" almost revealed his true identity by saying "xaxaxaxa".

"xaxaxa" Alice communicated back. He forgot that Alice was telepathically gifted.

As Alice grew suspicious, Big Mitch's gear turned to cardboard and his disguise fell apart.

"Sister of the Queen of Platypus-Bears!" Alice shouted in shock. It came out as: "xaxa xa xa xa xa xaxaxa xa"

"...я?"

"xaxaxa xa" Alice said, and the Queen of Platypus-Bears' sister nodded.

"G o o d," the sister responded, spelling out the word. It sounded like "xaaxaaxaaxaa" but Alice understood.

Coming out as "xaxaxa", the sister asked Alice for a potato. Alice told her she'd only tell if the Sister told her where the Queen of Platypus-Bears was.

The sister shrugged, not knowing where her loony sister went.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: More hilarity and craziness ensue. This one gets kinda gross near the end. I hope you still get some laughs._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **Shutterfly Simmons, Albedineity, Snugglesthefluffykitten, FanFictionKatie, Lumosify**_

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><p>Azula was skipping through the woods with a basket of goodies to take to her grandmother's house. She didn't realize that she was being stalked by a lion turtle.<p>

"Lion turtle!" She yelled, elated to see her oldest friend.

The giant creature roars "I AM NOT A LION TURTLE, I AM A MINE TURTLE! HELLO!"

"Why hello!" she said, the stomped on the turtle for no apparent reason, triggering an explosion that sent her flying.

While she was in the air, she saw two people in white suits, a male with purple hair and a girl with red hair, and a talking cat that yelled "Team Rocket's blasting off again!"

Azula landed in the hot air balloon, and tried to firebend at that ugly redhead (she didn't necessarily dislike the other two).

Just before they blasted off, Azula's firebending deteriorated part of the hot balloon, causing all four of them to fall back to the explosion site where the mine turtle was.

"Hello!" It said before exploding again.

The group was blown downwards this time, until they fell into a cave full of badgermoles.

The cat panicked and sang "Badgermoles coming toward me, _come on guys, help me out_!"

Azula picked up the whiney derp, and said, "Take this THING as a sacrifice!" "Oh, and this pebble." she added, seeing one on the ground. The badgermoles nodded, and took the cat and pebble. Nobody listened to the cat's screams for help.

But then, the cat evolved into a Persian and started fighting the badgermoles.

A Dai Li officer appeared and yelled, "Look out, it's got a nose!" and shot several times at the Persian cat.

The cat returned to a pokeball, but the badgermoles got mad, seeing that they'd lost one of their sacrifices. The badgermoles were mad at the agent, for he shot cardboard bullets at them. One badgermole got hit by a bullet, and he turned into cardboard.

The badgermoles declared war and threw the cardboard-that-used-to-be-a-badgermole at the Dai Li agent. The Dai Li agent proceeded to die.

Azula blew a horn that summoned an army of communist platypus bears to aid them in battle. The badgermoles laughed at the tiny army and ate all the platypus bears.

Meanwhile, cardboard began to spread like wildfire, people's and animal's body parts turning into it for no apparent reason. Many Earth Kingdom villages were quarantined in an attempt to stop the disease.

However, the Quarantine Committee for Safety Purposes was closed for maintenance. They left a protective watering can with everyone in the villages. Unfortunately, watering cans were modern which meant they were cardboard, and all they did was spread the virus.

Azula glared at the badgermoles and started yelling, using every cuss word that existed and even some she made up.

The badgermoles weren't very good at English, so they mistranslated everything she said. They thought she said "Take me as your own sacrifice." They also thought she said, "I am hungry for a sandwich!"

The badgermoles kidnapped her and denied her a sandwich, giving her a potato instead. She ate the potato, and fell into a poison-induced coma.

When she awoke, all she could smell was deep fried nachos. The badgermoles believed in food scented perfumes, which were somehow made out of cardboard. The smell of cardboard scented perfume made her sick.

She vomited into a glass container, hoping to make a new breakthrough in perfume scents with it. The badgermoles loved the vomit scent (it was a turn on for them) and gave Azula a billion currency for the product. Azula accepted the currency, and set afoot on a journey to sell her vomit perfume.

Sadly, only badgermoles appreciated her vomit perfume, since everyone else was cardboard. Except for Katara and Aang. Katara was immune because she still had STS (Slap Things Syndrome), and Aang was immune because of his irregular sleeping patterns and strange nightmares.

Upon seeing Azula, Katara went into a slap frenzy. But because she wasn't cardboard, the vomit perfume was appealing to her, and she stopped slapping.

Azula explained that she was underground when the virus appeared, so she had no idea why she was immune. Katara was furious that there was another immune person, meaning she wasn't as special anymore.

Katara raided her vomit perfume and attempted to stab Azula with an ice spike. Then she realized that the only people immune were people she was in a relationship with, so it must be all HER doing. After all, kissing transmits a lot of things.

Katara regained the urge to slap Azula, so she did. Azula managed to turn the slap into a soap opera, and before they knew it they were a couple again. And thus, Azutara became canon (again).

Aang was asleep this entire time and missed everything. Soon he woke up, and took a bit out of Azula. At least, he thought it was Azula, it was actually an Azula-shaped cabbage.

The cabbage merchant wanted to scream "My cabbages!" But he couldn't, since he was made of cardboard. He couldn't even hire someone to scream it for him.

The cardboard pandemic was worse than any zombie virus the Gaang had encountered before. People expected the Avatar to do something about it, but Aang was too busy waging war against Azula-shaped cabbages.

Everything changed when the Melon Lord teamed up with the cabbages, and launched a campaign of war against all things cardboard. Sadly, this meant 32.76% of the cardboard population died.

Avatar Aang knew he had to stop the melon-cabbage alliance, so he ate them all- every. last. one.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Something is happening in this. Reminds me of Prof Doof from Phineas & Ferb._

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **Lumosify, Snugglesthefluffykitten, Shutterfly Simmons, FanFictionKatie**_

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><p>Toph sat behind her desk at the police department with her legs propped on top, her head turned towards the open window. Toph was hiding from the lemons - those horrible monstrosities. Oranges on the other hand, were quite good. Only the rich could afford such delicious fruits. Sadly, Toph couldn't have pineapples because she was allergic. She ate them anyway because she was tough, but soon realized one she just ate carried a virus, and she turned into cardboard.<p>

_Oh boy. Here we go again. _Toph thought while she transformed. Still, she was tough, and she could move and bend normally while she was cardboard. She prayed to the spirits that it didn't rain. Then she remembered she was inside.

But what would happen if she was outside when it was raining, or if she fought a waterbending criminal? She then wondered why she asked herself this, because obviously she already knows so no one needs to explain it.

Her phone began to ring, but she couldn't answer it since she was cardboard- all that came out were weird grunts. It was a telemarketer calling her, so they didn't really care about what she had attempted to say.

She ate her phone, because why not. Phones were supposed to be very healthy and had many benefits. Unfortunately, that phone was made of cardboard, erasing any benefits possible. It just made Toph more cardboard, if that made any sense.

Then all the cardboard turned into pineapple. The pineapple was stolen by Cabbage Corp who was also made of pineapple.

Pineapple was declared the national fruit in all nations, except for the fire nation. Zuko's protesting unit began a riot over the usage of cardboard, so it was banned in the Fire Nation, causing the other nations to ban them as well because they were all playing follow-the-leader. They liked follow the leader more than hogmonkey in the middle. Nobody liked being a hogmonkey and using actual hogmonkeys was a mistake that no one had wanted to repeat.

The fire nation attempted to bomb the water tribe but failed, not realizing that the water tribe was still playing follow the leader, and they sent a bomb at the fire nation, which sent it into chaos.

Meanwhile, the Earth kingdom and Air nomads weren't sure who to bomb, so they bombed random villagers. The whole world was in chaos, blood and fire everywhere. People who were squeamish barricaded themselves in their houses and died of some sickness or another.

The Air Nomads saw what they had become, and laughed- being evil was fun! They no longer preached about peace and non violence. Instead, they told people to embrace the dark side of the force... whatever that was.

One person had tried asking, but they had been coated in fruit pie and locked in a cage with a starving flying lemur. The only thing left was the furry tail...

The Air nomads were earning a fearsome reputation. Some even compared them to the Galactic Empire, who now bowed down to the Nomads. The nomads took problem solving skills out of the curriculum and replaced it with cackling lessons to further embrace evil.

The Fire Nation knew it was a matter of time before they built a superlaser that could destroy the world, so they launched another attack on the temples; but the Air Nomads were prepared. They had bribed the fire nation mechanics with fruit pies and got them to sabotage the fire nation tanks.

Finally the machine was done: The blowuptheentireworldinator! The Air Nomads made sure to patent the word "Blowuptheentireworldinator". But, they accidentally spelled it wrong on the patent form and patented the word "Bowupthewordinator" instead. So the Fire Nation was able to construct a "Blowuptheentireworldinator" without any legal problems, leading to a Cold War between the two nations.

The Earth Kingdom was terrified, since it was located in the middle of the two warring nations.

Luckily no one cared about the Water Tribe, who were secretly building a "Blackholeinator" to destroy the universe. Everyone was confident that the blackholeinator would explode and set the Water tribe on fire.

Then everyone forgot about the machine because the xaxaxaxa wizards wanted it to be a surprise. Ruining surprises was punishable by death, death by being mauled by penguin otters. It was horrible, since nobody could eat the penguin otters after they ate fellow tribe members.

Nobody wanted to think about that anymore, since there were two moon sized superlasers in the sky. One of them created an artificial solar eclipse.

There was an ancient prophecy about an artificial solar eclipse: "When a superlaser in space blocks out the sun, cheeseburgers will from the sky." And cheeseburgers did indeed fall from the sky. Several fell in the ocean, so people went on quests to save them, but they were eaten by Nessie, confirming the existence of Illuminati.

The swamp benders were annoyed that they were being left out of all the world domination. So the xaxaxa wizards gave them sand sharks (sharks that swim in the ground) to ride. One of them tripped over a pebble and died.

By doing this, the shark confirmed the existence of the Society That Confirms the Existence of Things. The shark was the CEO's assistant's substitute's secretary's chef.

After discovering that the sand shark cheated to get his job, he was executed by being placed in water. The shark was not to be given a funeral according to his contract. He did not even deserve a funeral- he was a traitor to the society. It was so scandalous, the letters "s," "h," "a," "r," and "k" were banned.

i the toy even bout vat nymo?

How did we get to thi point?

The Society That Confirms the Existence of Things then decided that it was better to ban the faniction story "My Immortal" than the letters "s" "h" "a" "r" and "k". All schools told children to shun Tara Gilesbie and if they spoke to her or mentioned the story, the world would be destroyed by a superlaser. People who craved world destruction had their mouths duct taped.

Finally it was time to reveal the blackholeinator and if anyone even _thought _about TLA movie, then the Water Tribe would unleash its power...

The earth kingdom was liked discussing the horrid movie and declared war against the water tribe. The Earth Kingdom had no idea at which pole the blackeholeinator was at however, so they sent two Nessies to investigate, one to each pole.

But, they forgot to give the Nessie 's maps, so they got lost. One Nessie encountered a man named Jack Sparrow, who rambled about "rum" and "jars of dirt". The Nessie gave him a stolen cabbage. The man (and cabbage) were eaten by a Kraken.

The Nessie got bored and wandered around in hexagons. Swimming in hexagons was the key to bringing back the ancient art of dubstep, thus making that Nessie a hero of the people.

But, the Nessie didn't know it was a hero, since it was still lost. People tried rescuing the hero in an airplane, but they crashed in the ocean since it was made of cardboard. The Nessie ate the cardboard plane. The people forgave it (and always would) since it brought back their precious dubstep music. People built shrines in honor of the Nessie, who still didn't have a name.

Meanwhile, the other Nessie swam in circles, and was booed at by everyone since circles were overrated.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Here's another chapter featuring Azula and the Father-Daughter dance, _

_Thank you to all you guys who contributed a sentence. This chapter was a combined effort between: **FanFictionKatie, Snugglesthefluffykitten, Shutterfly Simmons, Lumosify**_

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><p>Azula couldn't decide what to wear: the black and red dress or the red and black dress. So she set them both on fire and watched them burn.<p>

Azula yelled "Off with the servants' heads! " for not picking ONE dress out. The servant claimed that they were "assistants", but Azula did not care what they were- they would be punished!

Unfortunately, the servants who tortured people for her were also to be tortured. Azula had a hard time deciding how they would be tortured.

She decided that she should show no mercy and force them to read "My Immortal." After the story was done, Azula made them read it again. The servants begged and pleaded with her to show mercy. Azula said that begging was a sign of weakness, so she made them read it a _third _time.

Only 3 servants survived, and that was because they were blind. Azula decided three readings and being permanently blind were enough, so she let them go.

The assistants finally learned to shut up until Azula left to go pick another dress (for the Father-Daughter After-Party that evening), then decided they would hunt down the one who created such a detrimental piece of work: Tara Gilesbie. Ozai was more worried about Tara than keeping the Avatar from becoming strong enough to defeat him. It just so happened that Aang was after Tara, since he considered her a global threat.

Ozai then proposed a temporary ceasefire with Aang: They would destroy Tara, then go back to destroying each other. They pinky promised to seal the deal.

And so they placed bounties all over the world for the infamous author. Everyone, even the spirits, called for her death. But she had gone into hiding for over 100 years; everyone thought she was dead.

They rejoiced the day she was officially declared dead, forgetting that that would mean the War would continue. Aang then remembered he had hidden for 100 years in an iceberg and was presumed dead, so he ordered the destruction of all ice.

This led to conflicts with both Water Tribes; their homes were destroyed and they became essentially homeless. An anonymous person dressed in black that was pale, had hot pink threads in her hair and six skull earring with red dripping down their clothing approached the Chiefs and offered them a place to live, along with their entire tribes.

The Chiefs said no, because they had coupons to buy some land in the Earth Kingdom.

The cloaked figure was furious and revealed themselves to be none other than Tara! Everyone screamed, including Tara.

Everyone then began attacking her, declaring they would kill her, or dine in hell.

"MY CHILD DIED AFTER READING YOUR STORY!" one woman screamed.

"THIS! IS! SPARTA!" One man yelled.

"NO HABLO INGLES!" another one screeched.

"Xaxaxaxa" Another said. But he was never a man- he was a communist platypus bear spy!

"You!" the assistants screamed, jumping out at Tara. The communist platypus-bear, named Little Steve, sat and watched while drinking some cactus juice. He used a cardboard walkie talkie to confirm the location of the target to his superiors.

The melon lord shot flaming hot rocks at Tara. Dumblydore shielded her, and with his dying breath, confessed his love for Enoby.

Everyone groaned, and Fire Lord Ozai sent the Yuyan archers after her.

But Tara was too powerful, using her words as weapons, and was finally hushed when they shoved a potato in her mouth. Tara began choking on it. It slipped into her trachea, killing her slowly and painfully.

That day became an international holiday. It was agreed that in the future, all wars would stop on that one day to remember the fall of Tara Gilesbie. There were burnt Ebony cookies in honor of the historic event.

Then Azula remembered the Father-Daughter After Party!

"Father, the Father -Daughter after party is in only 3 months," Azula cried.

Ozai was heasitant- he had a world to burn to the ground after all!

"You always choose the world over me!" she whined.

"Because the world is my baby." Ozai said.

"But, you said I was your baby, " Azula said, hurt.

"You're not my baby," Ozai said. "You are my next of kin, a fearless, perfect killing machine."

Azula screamed and threw a temper tantrum. Then she realized Ozai had called her a perfect killing machine, and proved her power by killing him.

"Yay! I'm firelord now! " she said, happily.

Then she married Katara- _again_.

Zuko was annoyed that Azula had gotten married while he was at Summer camp. He was also annoyed with being Katara's brother in law, so he planned to kill her.

But then he was distracted by cardboard Pinterest. He failed to realize the cardboard Pintrest was a trap set up by the badgermolepenguinotterhogmonkeylemurs.

The badgermolepenguinotterhogmonkeylemurs demanded fresh fish every week for a year. However due to a massive drought, all the fish died and stank _really_ _bad_. The badgermolepenguinotterhogmonkeylemurs were okay with this.


End file.
